Both of these philosophies are used in controlling organisations to try to justify them controlling you. Both of them have egoism involved as we have already discussed. By The way, ADHERING TO SOMEONE ELSE’S EGOISM IS NOT EGOISM, and is not good in my opinion. But what exactly is the difference between tough love and paternalism?
When someone is doing paternalism, they are also doing tough love, and vice versa, I will explain how after I have covered them both.
Tough love is putting someone through a time they may not like because they may “benefit in the long term” or just “for their own good” and sometimes “morality”. The issue with this is that their is no best outcome, just whatever the person wants. If someone wants to do something, they often get punished by parents or some other organisation. If the punishment is time out, then this is most likely tough love, since it is often suppose to benefit the victim of tough love. We will talk about the disadvantages of tough love in this forum. The phrase originally came from a movie.
Paternalism is similar to Tough love. It is taking away a right for someones “own good” or “moral reasons”. Many of the same disadvantages are the same as with tough love. This would be shown if I stopped you from eating too much candy because I said you would get fat. This is flawed because if the person knows, then they are just choosing to eat the candy and do not care about your health, and its your life. I will talk about the disadvantages to this on this forum.
Paternalism comes from the word paternal meaning father, and means controlling someone in a fatherly way.
How they overlap?
Paternalism is taking someones right, tough love is putting someone through tough times, if you are putting someone in a tough time, then you are taking their right to the time and the ability to say no. If you take someone’s right, then you are putting them through a tough time. So they overlap.
This is also going into the egoism section.
I am an egoist. I do what benefits me. I do not despise being an egoist, I encourage it. What I do not like though, is you following someone else’s Egoism for less benefit to you. This is what allows the state to exist. Paternalism and tough love are suppose to be someone doing harm to you or taking away your freedom so you will benefit from it in the future or because it is not in your best interest. This has many flaws and many ways Egoism can be involved in it.
First of All, Psychological Egoism states that everyone is motivated by self interest, even when they care about others. This argument can be used even when it does not appear the person using Paternalism/Tough Love is gaining anything, they have a greater change than not of having a way that they will benefit. Sometimes you can even see how the Paternalism or Tough Love can benefit. An example is a parent forcing you to do labour and saying it will benefit you later, even if you never plan on doing the thing you are suppose to be learning, and are just getting your time wasted and in a miserable way. You can most likely see how the parent would benefit from this, its less work for them, and they can say they are doing you a favour. John Stuart Mill disagrees with state paternalism saying “His own good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant.” . He states that people knows whats best for them, and I agree. It is your life, and you should be able to do what ever you want, if you want to ruin your life, its your life. If the person does not appear to benefit from enforcing paternalism or tough love on you, that does not mean they cannot benefit at all. Some people may gain respect/reputation, they may get pressure from other paternalist if they are not paternalist. They may feel morally(for people who believe in that) just, or maybe sad if something happened to you if they have invested in you. Max Stirner in the Ego and Its Own covers why people stop crime that has nothing to do with them, one of the reasons he says is people’s morality tells them to. Morality is a flawed idea but many people still believe it. To some that is a benefit worth having. You need to be the egoist, you need to not let this happen, letting this happen is most likely not egoist. We must spread anti-paternalism and anti-tough love. None of them really benefit the victim to that great of an extent. Stop feeding into other people’s egoism, and be the egoist.